Blazing Trails: A Hilarious Journey Through Michigan’s Green Revolution
Welcome to the High Life
In the great state of Michigan, a green revolution is underway, and it’s not just about recycling or saving the planet (although those are fantastic too). We’re talking about the kind of green that makes you giggle uncontrollably and raid your pantry at 2 AM. Enter New Standard, Michigan’s Premier Cannabis Dispensary, where the grass is always greener, and the customers are always higher.
A New Standard of Excellence (and Munchies)
Gone are the days of sketchy back-alley deals and questionable oregano masquerading as the real deal. New Standard has set, well, a new standard in the world of cannabis retail. Their stores are so sleek and modern, you might mistake them for an Apple Store – that is, until you notice the distinct lack of overpriced laptops and abundance of delightful herbal remedies.
The Customer Service High-Light
At New Standard, the staff is more knowledgeable than a botanist with a PhD in THC. They can guide you through their extensive menu with the precision of a Michelin-starred sommelier, helping you find the perfect strain to suit your needs. Whether you’re looking to relax, get creative, or just really, really enjoy that new documentary about paint drying, they’ve got you covered.
Products That’ll Blow Your Mind (Responsibly)
New Standard offers an array of products that would make Willie Nelson weep with joy:
- Flower so beautiful, you’ll want to press it in a book
- Edibles that put your grandma’s brownies to shame
- Concentrates potent enough to make you believe in aliens
- Tinctures that’ll have you tincturing whether you’re awake or dreaming
The Great Strain Debate
Choosing a strain at New Standard is like trying to pick a favorite child – if your children were all incredibly chill and came with fun names like “Pineapple Express” and “Purple Haze.” The budtenders are always happy to engage in heated debates about the merits of indica vs. sativa, often resulting in philosophical discussions that would make Socrates proud (and probably very, very confused).
Conclusion: High Times in the Mitten State
So, whether you’re a seasoned cannabis connoisseur or a curious newcomer, New Standard is your one-stop shop for all things green and groovy in Michigan. Just remember, when you inevitably find yourself contemplating the meaning of life while staring at a bag of Doritos, you can thank New Standard for elevating your consciousness (and your snack game).
And always remember the golden rule of cannabis consumption: puff, puff, pass – unless you’re alone, then it’s just puff, puff, where did I put my phone?